Viz

Viz has been gracing British newsagents' shelves since 1979. Its irreverent mix of bad language, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard's anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Viz's comic characters, such as the Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, and Roger Mellie the foul-mouthed Man on the Telly, as well as its hugely popular Top Tips and Profanisaurus sections, are firmly established as national institutions, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane. *Manufacturer's estimate.

Mrs Brady Old lady

the REAL ALE TWATS

OH LORDY! IT’S THE FAT SLAGS

VLAD’S ARMY

LETTERBOCKS • Viz Comic, P.O. Box 841 Whitley Bay, NE26 9EQ

TOP TIPS

SOUP-ER BLOOPERS • BIG SCREEN BROTH BLUNDERS ‘N’ CHOWDER CHUCKLES WITH SOUP-LOVIN’ CINEPHILE

ToP TiPs

What would the anti-woke arseholes do if they were… WOKE FOR A DAY • UP AND DOWN the country, from Lands End to John O’Groats, as well as across the width of it, from Lowestoff Ness to Ardnamurchan Point, we’ve all wondered what it would be like to be Woke For A Day. If we found ourselves inexplicably transformed into a treasonous Marxist do-gooder, hellbent on dismantling proud traditions such as racism, sexism and homophobia, how would we spend 24 hours? And this quandary doesn’t just plague the average Joe in the street – it also haunts the arsehole celebrity set, too. We phoned three of our favourite anti-woke bellends and asked them: What would YOU do if you went Woke For A Day?

WINTER OLYMPICS CORNER • Viz readers’ responses to the Beijing Winter Olympics 2022

Snowplougher

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE! Jilted stargazer seeks answers in Celestial Realm • THE JAMES WEBB space telescope successfully launched last year by NASA is already looking further than ever into the hidden corners of the cosmos. The data relayed back to earth by the high-tech billion dollar instrument will give scientists fresh information about the origins of the universe. But one amateur astronomer from West Yorkshire hopes that the space boffins in America will allow HIM to have a shot on the orbiting observatory’s controls to save his marriage.

TENSBY BROWN-SHOES

GET 3 MONTHS OF FOR JUST £3 GET 3 MONTHS OF FOR JUST £3 • PLUS A FREE LIMITED EDITION MUG

Your Sex Life in the Afterlife • Psychic Sex advice with Doris Stokes

SID the SEXIEST

WEE RADGE JOE

SHAKIN’ STEVENS’S REVISION TIPS • HI THERE, exam-sittin’ rock’n’roll fans! Shakey here. As a touring musician, I know what it’s like to get nervous. I often get nervous before a ‘gig’ – musician-speak for a concert – or if I’m doing an important interview with Smash Hits or Russell Harty. Don’t laugh but, sometimes I get so nervous, I start shakin’! Hot dog!

Drunken bakers

20 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT LIFTS • LOVE ‘EM or hate ‘em, you just can’t avoid ‘em. And if you’ve ever been higher than 10 storeys in a building, chances are you’ve been in one. Unless you used the stairs. They’re LIFTS, and they’ve been taking us up and down buildings for decades. We take lifts for granted, jumping in, pushing a button, watching as the doors close, then open again, then pushing the button again rapidly in frustration before the doors finally close and we are whisked off on a vertical journey. And you probably think you know all there is to know about these miraculous ascending and descending boxes. Well, think again. here are…

3…2…1…LIFT OFF! • Your lift questions answered by a reputable lift engineer with one average review on Trustpilot.

LIFT LOCK-IN • IT’S THE STUFF of bad dreams. To be in a lift which breaks down between floors, stuck having to make small talk with a stranger for a couple of hours...