Viz

Viz has been gracing British newsagents' shelves since 1979. Its irreverent mix of bad language, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard's anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Viz's comic characters, such as the Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, and Roger Mellie the foul-mouthed Man on the Telly, as well as its hugely popular Top Tips and Profanisaurus sections, are firmly established as national institutions, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane. *Manufacturer's estimate.

SiD the SEXiEST

Bassey Come Home • Young Billy Arkwright was the luckiest boy in the Dales village of Clutterbuck, for he had a Shirley Bassey of his very own, who worked with him on his grandfather’s farm.

Drunken bakers

LeTtEr ROCkS • Viz Comic, P.O. Box 841 Whitley Bay, NE26 9EQ letters@viz.co.uk

FREE HOLE for EVERY READER!

Windbreak Corner • YOU’VE ALL been farting like thunder and writing in to tell us about it. Here’s a selection of the best wind-related letters we’ve received.

FOODIE BOLLOCKS

TOMMY TETLEY’S TOPPING TEAPOT

SOAP ON A ROPE • All the latest goss from your fave TV serial dramas from our Soap Siren Shaz Pieman dangling from a rope 150ft above the ring of Blackpool Circus.

THOMAS′ BUCKET

TRUE GRIT! • Greville putting the grit back into “Grit” Britain

SNOW JOKE • Ice and snow costing NHS dear

mr. LOGIC • HE’S AN ACUTE LOCALISED BODILY SMART IN THE RECTAL AREA.

THE male Online

the REAL ALE TWATS

BIFFA BACON

FAB 4 EVER? • What if Tomorrow Never Knows about the Beatles?

WIN A VIZ/HM GOVERNMENT BLACKOUT SURVIVAL HAMPER! • We’ve teamed up with Number 10 to give one lucky Viz reader the chance to SURVIVE the next three months!

TOP OF THE PLOPS! • No Shit! Bristol Stool Chart “Rigged” says Whistleblower

SAS ROGUE A&E

Take a Shit

CLAIRVOYANT DENTIST

SUBSCRIBE TODAY AND GET 3 MONTHS OF VIZ FOR JUST £3 • PLUS A FREE LIFE OF CHRIST IN CATS TEA TOWEL AND VIZ CLASSIC ALBUMS CALENDAR 2023

THE BOOK THAT IS ALL SORTS OF WRONG. • SCOUNDRELS VOLUME THREE - A SHUDDERING CLIMAX

SOCK IT TO HIM! • Friends club together for heartbroken Dad

XMAS RECORD BREAKER!

So You Didn’t Send a CHRISTMAS CARD?

MEDIEVEL MASTURBAROTY MALARKEY WITH WILLIAM CAXTON

Mrs Brady Old Lady

Roger’s PROFANISAURUS • An Update of Britain’s Favourite Lexicon of Filth and Profanity

50 QUID CRAPTIC CROSSWORD No. 322

LAST ISSUE’S WINNERS

ROGER MELLIE • THE MAN ON THE TELLY

ROY’LL WATCH

MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING

DORRIES ON LORRIES (and QUARRIES)

7 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT LORRIES • (AND 3 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT QUARRIES)

HGV Q&A with the AB of C out of the C of E • YOUR theological lorry, truck and freightliner queries answered by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin ‘Big Rig’ Welby

ARE YOU IN A LORRY OR IN A QUARRY? • ARE YOU confused as to whether you’re currently inside a large motorised road vehicle or an immense gravel-filled pit? It happens to the best of us! But don’t worry – take our quick ‘n’ easy quiz and your predicament will soon become crystal clear.

8 ACE

THE ZOOKEEPER’S BOOT